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Kiss Ass of the Month
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Let your kids believe in Santa. You believed in your man.
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Let's get drunk!
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Lick it Loser
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Life is dragging me by my thong right now.
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Life is hard, but at least your children aren't ugly.
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Life is short, at least spend it with a tall guy.
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Look what you did, you little jerk.
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Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.
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Marriages are like pancakes. There’s no shame in throwing out the first one.
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Maury found my baby daddy.
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Men be like, I'm finally ready to settle down and be in a relationship.
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Men swear to know everything until you ask them who she is.
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Men used to go to war, now they unsend their dms if you don't reply back.
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More gagging, less nagging.
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My ex taught me you definitely have to worry about the ugly ones too.
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My ex will talk to anybody, don't feel special.
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My mental stability is questionable.
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My tits are too nice for my life to be like this!
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My wife asked me for a divorce for Valentine’s Day. I told her I wasn’t planning on spending that much.
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Naughty Girl
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Naughty or Nice
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No amount of concealer can cover up how tired I am of these dudes.
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