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My ex will talk to anybody, don't feel special.
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In the gym so I can ride dick longer.
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If you ugly, don’t message me today, I already have a lot going on.
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If you can’t handle this sass, you can’t handle this ass.
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If you are sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember no one loves you on any other day either.
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I'm not settling for crumbs, when I own the Bread Factory
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I may be mentally unstable, but at least I don’t own a pair of crocs.
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I don't need build-a-bear man, I need ready made.
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I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!
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How am I going to find my soulmate if everyone wants me.
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He asked me “who’s pussy is this” and I said “you don’t know him.”
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Happy Valentine’s Day to the person my ex is currently disappointing.
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Happy Valentine’s Day to myself. I love you.
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Dear Alcohol, will you be my Valentine?
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Craving dick but unwilling to deal with men to get some.
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Can’t wait to receive nothing on Valentine’s Day.
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Anti-Valentine’s Day Club
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#dickhydrated
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#Chincheck
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I don’t like that we are fighting, tell me you’re sorry.
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Guys stick to one barber but can’t stick to one girl.
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Guys love being called “daddy” until that pregnancy test comes back positive.
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Fake as my orgasm last night.
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