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I am nicer than my face looks.
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Life is dragging me by my thong right now.
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I know everything happens for a reason, but what the fuck
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I asked God for a blessing and now my Ex is gone, no coincidence there.
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No amount of concealer can cover up how tired I am of these dudes.
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You have a better chance getting chased by a dog, than by me.
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I'm good love, go disappoint someone else.
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When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.
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Humble enough to know I'm replaceable. Cocky enough to know it's going to be a downgrade.
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Dudes hit the gym after a breakup........ go to therapy.
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She tried to be his love bug, but he likes roaches.
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You're legally allowed to park in a handicap spot, it you got back with your ex more than twice.
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Ask a man what he wants in a good women
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You may be in his snapchat, but I'm in his police reports.
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Men be like, I'm finally ready to settle down and be in a relationship.
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Shout out to my ex tho, I wouldn't be living my best life if we were still together.
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They'll fumble you, then stalk you for the rest of their life.
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I just wanna be somewhere in the sun with my titties out, eating fresh fruit.
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My ex taught me you definitely have to worry about the ugly ones too.
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Men used to go to war, now they unsend their dms if you don't reply back.
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Men swear to know everything until you ask them who she is.
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Him: You're already seeing someone new? Me: Yes, there was a waiting list.
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Get back with my ex? I would rather mop the freeway.
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Queens don't beg jokers to stay in their lives.
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