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Dead Inside, but still horny
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Dear Alcohol, will you be my Valentine?
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Do you believe in love at first sight? ... or should I walk by again?
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Does this look like a face that cares?
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Does your life insurance know you like to be strangled during sex?
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Don't approach me broke.
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Don't compare yourself to other moms, we are all losing our shit.
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Don’t come for me, I just want to bitch.
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Dudes hit the gym after a breakup........ go to therapy.
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Dunkin’ Deeznuts
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Even on a good day, I want to quit my job.
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Even when I don’t fuck around, I find out.
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Fake as my orgasm last night.
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Feeling cute, might die inside later.
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Find someone you can build with. Not just chill with.
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Finding out your man is a bitch, has to be the worst gender reveal ever.
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Fresh out of Fucks
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Fuck your Feelings
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Fuckin hamburger help me.
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Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi
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Future DILF
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Future MILF
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Get back with my ex? I would rather mop the freeway.
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